If anyone was to browse even the prayer requests posted on the Internet one can quickly see that prayers for a mate take a large part of the center stage as well as THEIR personal concern of having more prosperity, a good, well paid job, and one’s good health.
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Now there is a great diabolic evil spirit that also exists very common and it is called Romanticism or Lust.. Romantic Fiction and Christians- The Hidden Enemy = Most of what we tend to encounter in film, radio, books, magazines under the term “Romance – Love” are merely seductive evil spirits, and the lust of the decaying flesh. ” Romantic fiction: the female equivalent of porn?
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Just as it is morally wrong for a man to develop an appetite for women other than his wife by exposing himself to porn, so it is wrong for a wife to expose herself to romantic fiction, because it could stimulate dissatisfaction with her husband.
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There are amazing similarities between women viewing or reading romantic fiction (soap operas, movies and romance novels, etc) and men viewing soft porn.
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Few of those engaged in either activity see any harm in it. They think they can have a little fantasy and a little pleasure without it weakening their real life relationships. It’s so easy to excuse enjoying romantic fiction, just as it’s easy for men to excuse appreciating female flesh.
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Women long for romance like men long for erotica (the visual side of sex). They would like it as a prelude to sexual relations just like men would like an erotic display as a prelude to the physical side of sex. And men typically feel uncomfortable about romance, like many women feel uncomfortable about such things giving their partner a private strip show.
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Both erotica and romantic fiction create images of, and create a longing for, things that no normal partner could ever match, with the result that both sexes end up wishing their partners were more like those portrayed on the screen. With porn, lighting, making up, poses, photo touch-ups (even plastic surgery) and so on mean that even beautiful women cannot compete. In addition, men become addicted to variety. Romantic novels, films etc. are equally artificial and impossible for any normal man to get anywhere near equaling. Novelists and script writers devote enormous effort to getting the man saying the perfect thing in just the right romantic setting. They are experts in knowing what appeals to women, like those involved in the porn industry are experts in knowing what appeals to men. In real life situations not even the writers themselves could equal the charm of their fictional characters. Normal conversation, for instance, would not allow them enough time to get their lines right.
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In real life, the initial euphoria of romance wears off. The really heady stuff is more likely with a new partner. Similarly, men get less and less excited about seeing their wives nude.
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If you sense something wrong with men going to strip joints but nothing wrong with romantic fiction, it might do well to remember how Jesus warned against our tendency to have 20/20 vision when it comes to seeing the faults of others, but being decidedly short-sighted about our own weaknesses. Each of us must decide before God where to draw the line, and we will come to different conclusions, but it is before God that we will one day stand.
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Comments by women
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From the co-author of a Christian book for woman:
I agree with your questioning of romance books. I quit reading all Christian romances when I noticed my discontent with my husband was increasing. He was nothing like the men in romance novels, and the harder I tried to make him ‘perfect’ the more miserable we both became.
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Another woman writes:
Women get caught up in story fantasy where men get caught in visual fantasy. Women become dissatisfied with their lives because their husbands don’t measure up to the hero, and the romance isn’t there as it is in the story.
If women would put in more effort into their real life relationships instead of living through fantasy, there would be less family difficulties. Women are so easily led by their emotions, and feelings. They are very ‘I’ centered also. Through these fantasies they focus on how everyone should be treating them but never see how they are treating others.
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Yet another woman writes:
I agree with you about romantic fiction. I’d long felt uneasy about it (and especially about so-called Christian romantic fiction), but so many women I know live off it that I wondered if it was just a matter of taste (or like one friend said to me, “Not everyone can read that high-brow stuff you read”). I think you hit the nail on the head. What you say about women becoming dissatsified with their husbands as a result of reading (or watching, in the case of TV or films) romantic fiction is something I’ve witnessed several times among my friends and acquaintances. Mind you, this has also happened to some of them as a result of reading books about Christian marriage (they must have skipped the chapters about Christian wives).
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It is primarily women who like romance, giving gifts, remembering birthdays, verbalizing emotions, and so on. The more these longings are fanned by romantic fiction, the more women end up virtually craving women in men’s bodies. This has disturbing implications for lesbianism. Perhaps it is also another reason why single women who don’t limit themselves to Christian men find that the men they are most attracted to are often gay. Homosexuals tend to display more typically feminine traits.
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There are things women would like their partner to do for them because it makes women feel feminine. What women need to realize, however, is that often these very things makes their partner’s feel effeminate. Except in romantic fiction, what lights your fire, probably puts his fire out. Like the performance women put on in sex shows, the men in romantic fiction seem to enjoy these things, but it’s all part of the act.” Anyone involved in counseling knows that marriage complaints take the center stage there as well. Why? Many people are still personally really unhappy in life, single and married ones too. So what are the answers…
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(Psa 145:9 KJV) The LORD is good to all: and his tender mercies are over all his works. 10 All thy works shall praise thee, O LORD; and thy saints shall bless thee. 11 They shall speak of the glory of thy kingdom, and talk of thy power; 12 To make known to the sons of men his mighty acts, and the glorious majesty of his kingdom. 13 Thy kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and thy dominion endureth throughout all generations. 14 The LORD upholdeth all that fall, and raiseth up all those that be bowed down. 15 The eyes of all wait upon thee; and thou givest them their meat in due season. 16 Thou openest thine hand, and satisfiest the desire of every living thing. 17 The LORD is righteous in all his ways, and holy in all his works. 18 The LORD is nigh unto all them that call upon him, to all that call upon him in truth. 19 He will fulfil the desire of them that fear him: he also will hear their cry, and will save them. 20 The LORD preserveth all them that love him: but all the wicked will he destroy. 21 My mouth shall speak the praise of the LORD: and let all flesh bless his holy name for ever and ever. 146:1 Praise ye the LORD. Praise the LORD, O my soul. 2 While I live will I praise the LORD: I will sing praises unto my God while I have any being. 3 Put not your trust in princes, nor in the son of man, in whom there is no help.
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Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. 2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD; and in his law doth he meditate day and night. 3 And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. 4 The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away. 5 Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. 6 For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish. (Psalm1:1 KJV)
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Eph 4:15 Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ
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Too many people too readily accept professing Christians persons now as being real Christians. Many people still do fail to realize beforehand that the person that now they are even selecting on their own possibly for their mate may have unresolved personal issues, sins that will next have serious an adverse effect not only on their marriage, relationship but even on others as well. We need God’s wisdom to know what some people are now really like still too.
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What would you think seriously of a medical doctor who generally does not tell their client that they have a serious medical sickness, they may have major heart problems, they may have cancer. etc.. The reason this doctor does not tell his clients the truth is that he thinks that God himself still may change the reality and miraculous cure them, or the underlying fear that of the people hear negative news they will seek another doctor that will tell them the positive news, diagnosis they want to hear, so not to lose customers the doctor does not tell them the truth? You would say to me that is a real bad Doctor then?
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I too did not understand many wives need to read romantic books until years later I looked into them and they were sex porno’s.. I was shocked when God then himself told me that a lot of the women’s home magazines given out door to door freely were pornographic too. In Long-standing concerns over pornography’s corrupting influence are being confirmed by recent studies. Romance too often is still porno.. .. In past years restrictions on sexual content in the media were rejected by many secular observers. But the flood of Internet pornography is leading to second thoughts. On Tuesday the New York Times reported about growing concern over the effects on children. The article reported on the findings published in last July’s issue of the journal Pediatrics, in a study titled “Impact of the Media on Adolescent Sexual Attitudes and Behaviors.” There is no doubt, however, that young people are immersed, often without parental supervision, in a media culture abundant in increasingly graphic sexual content… Survey data collected at the November 2002 meeting of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers in Chicago looked at the impact of Internet usage on marriages. At this meeting, 62% of the 350 attendees said the Internet had been a significant factor in divorces they had handled during the previous year. They also observed that 68% of the divorce cases involved one party meeting a new love interest over the Internet. And 56% of the divorce cases involved one party having an obsessive interest in pornographic Web sites. Although Internet pornography is commonly consumed by one household member in a solitary fashion, the impact of sexually explicit material is felt by the entire family, and the community in general. The Catechism of the Catholic Church warns against pornography. No. 2354 noted that it not only offends chastity, but also does grave injury by making people the object of base pleasure. Moreover, “It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world.” Fantasy or not, its impact is increasingly causing grave damage…
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Missing the point? 